The Pandemic Slow Down

Holy.

There's not a whole lot I can say about this pandemic that hasn't already been said, but for my own sake, sanity and the chance to write down in history how this has all taken place from my perspective, I am going to take a stab at it.

We are all experiencing our own stresses, fears, anxieties over the last two weeks and we aren't entirely sure how long it will continue on for. Jobs have been lost, temporary layoffs, closures, savings have been lost, the stock market has plummeted, and people are getting sick, and some are dying. It's hard to support each other when we all are suffering to different extents, and yet I hear people reaching out to each other and receive messages and calls more than ever. I've taken our dog for walks around the neighbourhood and read signs in the window from kids at home, telling me we will get through it (one was bilingual, bless Canada). For that, we should be thankful for one another, among this unprecendented time.

When I try to think of positives, among the heaps of news and social media fear-mongering over COVID-19, I can always close the tabs and turn to the idea of Uprooted. Our farm is feeling more and more like a safety net we have set up for ourselves during this time of uncertainty. So much of this pandemic has exposed our issues with food security.

For the first time in my young life, I entered the grocery store to see shelves bare. I can understand why people panicked. I felt panicked. You could feel the change in the air. I don't think I'll ever forget the look of people's faces in the store on Thursday two weeks ago, panic buying with their carts full of toilet paper and bottled water, and it was dead silent. People avoided you. Noone was talking. It felt like every man for himself. How quick things turned fragile and tense.

It's something we all take for granted, that there will be food there when we go to the store, and we don't even know where it comes from, we just know it's there to buy and the supply has never faultered (in the 30 years that I have been around). For the first time.. it was not there when I felt I needed it. This pandemic and social isolation has probably made a lot of the population stop and actually look at our food system and realize it might not be as secure as we assumed it was. Hopefully some of this population went even further with this issue and wondered how it can be secure for future world events. I hope many of them have decided to make a consicous effort to perhaps grow their own food, or know someone who does (hint, hint - know your farmer!)

I did not have to panic buy when things got real nervous last week. I have a freezer full of meat and vegetables and a box full of potatoes and garlic. We have a giant tub of wheat ready to grind for flour (which we did one night this week to make bread, and it was kind of fun). I feel very grateful and lucky to be in a position where I didn't immediately feel panic because the fridge wasn't stocked because, as most people do in the city, regulary visit the grocery store once, twice, three times a week.

Don't get me wrong, I do visit the grocery store regularly (more than I need to). Ben and I love curry paneer, cheeses, eggs, rice, seafood and bacon. We love to change things up and explore different dishes, we are total foodies. But we were not put into panic mode with the thought that we might not get what we need to stay home for a few days and be comfortable.

It's hard to look at this pandemic and feel any positivity. It's not positive, it's frightening and the numbers keep rising of those sick and death tolls increase. It's awful. We are told to stay home and keep a physical distance from anyone outside the house. You walk the dog, and people cross the street to avoid you, or you to them.. but you still can't help but take it personally, like you're not to be trusted, even though you know it's for the best. It still makes everyone feel like crap.

The repercussions will be like the ripples in a pond. There are so many things affected by this pandemic, and it will take years to recover from it. Yet, I try to look for a positive in all this, and I hope that the one ripple with a positive note is the potential for people to get closer to what matters most in life. It's not the stock market, it's not your job, it's not shopping for the latest trends. It's food, it's family, it's slowing down and reconnecting. It's tangibles that we can control in our lives.

I've learned to make bread, buns and pizza dough from dry yeast and my own ground flour. I find it incredibly empowering. I don't think I'm the only one that has attempted to make bread these last two weeks. I'm on my third book this month, and have finally had time to attack my bookself classics with a venegance. I finished carving a spoon I started in the fall, and I was super proud of it. People are learning new skills, and also learning to relax, and do nothing. Learning that when we no longer can just go to the stores and buy things to occupy our time in search of happiness, we might turn to more meaningful activities that make you feel happy, contented and full at the end of the day. I am watching people going for walks with their family in my neighbourhood, and I've never seen them before two weeks ago. People are finally creating, growing, stretching, meditating, doing, making, baking, relaxing, building. People are forced to slow their lives down and it's healing.

It's all so empowering and self-sustaining. I hope that everyone can find solace in something that keeps them busy during this time, that they maybe gave up years ago, or have never done before. We are so dependent on so many fragile things that occupy a huge portion of our lives. Jobs, the internet, global foods, global markets and stores. What if we made sure these things didnt control us and we were able to live without those fragile components in our life? Our stresses and anxiety would diminish. Our ability to not give AF would sky rocket. Maybe people wouldn't be so on edge, and events like this pandemic wouldn't be so damaging to our mental health.

We would be more in control of our life and be more self-sustainable than ever before. Not just with food, but with so many other aspects of our lives. If we can depend on ourselves for food, entertainment, relaxation, purpose and peace, we can lead a much more stable life, without anxiety of those delicate exterior dependencies crumbling. We just saw many of our jobs, savings, stores and many sources of entertainement crumble during this pandemic. And now we are forced to put the pieces back together, home, alone. Can you imagine if the internet crumbled? Self-sustaining. Just think about it.

This is a daunting idea. I get it. I struggled the last 4 days with the itch to go shopping for absolutely nothing important. Something inside of me kept saying there is an urgency to go to the store to buy that thing. But my car hasn't moved for 4 days. It can wait. Perhaps this pandemic is teaching me that it all can wait. That if we just stopped long enough (as we are forced to do right now) we would realize we have enough. And maybe that will solve a whole load of problems, ones we didn't even realize we had.

Hang in there.

-K